BIGFOOT

by bookindian

Bigfoot (or whatever you want to call it)

Yeh, this thing might exist . . . the indigenous peoples of what is now North America have tales of giants . . . I’m not talking about hairy things with BIG feet . . . I’m talking big people type things. And even if they must be hairy, I have a theses regarding how these sasquatchee bigfooted bipeds can exist without being seen ALL the time.

First: bears don’t live in communes . . . the males roam about until they needs to “get some” and then they go looking for a HAWT female and if her kids get in the way of his penile intentions, he EATS their sorry little asses!!

I’m not saying that the bigfooted types resort to cannibalism just to get a bit of poon, but I am of the opinion that they (Bigfoot sasquatch) is solitary beings until they get horny and start thinking about getting some backseat piston action . . . you know, like “Let’s go look at the stars, watch the glow worms, squash some banana slugs . . . “ whatever gets her in tha mood.

Yeh, so anyway, the big XX gets some XY and stumbles off into the darkness saying he needs to take a leak, but never comes back . . . and SHE is left lying in the leaves trying to decide what to eat for breakfast . . .

Bear skeletons are not commonly found so why should we expect to be finding Mr. robustus’ bones lying about like old cars? You notice that I said Mr. robustus . . . um hmmm . . . like Paranthropus robustus O.K.?? That’s right . . . PALE-E-O-MAN, like “Encino Man” (you catch that flick?)

ANTHRO

. . . see, like P. robustus ate grass and roots and tubers and berries and leaves . . . you know, like a vegan . . . BUT robustus wasn’t likely to pass up a good cut of meat either, so he/she was 80 – 90% grazing with a bit of bloody red animal grinds when available.

ANTHRO

So . . . if my ancestors could live off the natural resources (85 – 90% vegetal, the rest being animal protein), why can’t the Bigfoot/sasquatch do the same? Oh, and early mans/womans didn’t live in huge communes either, just small sustainable nuclear familial groups, like 2 – 3 individuals cos the resource wouldn’t support larger hominid assemblages.

Yeh, I know, the anthropologists got to have the romantic warm and fuzzy, so they envision lots of tipis and primitive community type stuff, like cooking fire smoke wafting up through the green tree canopy . . . all this is patterned after their academic trowel and screen experience in Mexico or Egypt and Turkey, fer-tile crescent cradle of civilization, etc., etc., etc. Oh yeh, don’t forget the southwest . . .

In conclusion, Sasquatchee Bigfoots potentially could exist . . . and they are more intelligent than the people trying to find them, otherwise they would be in the zoo . . . AND . . . uh, remember the coelacanth . . . ?!

ANTHRO

Advertisements